The Most Important thing I've Learned as an OCD Therapist

by Jacob Weissman, LPC, Specialist in OCD & Anxiety Disorders

I’ve learned a lot as an OCD therapist, especially considering I have OCD myself. But, if I had to just pick one, it’s this.

Let go of the rope.

What does that mean? What are you doing in that therapy room? “Let go of the rope” comes from a book, one that I find particularly helpful for anyone going through a tough time — The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living by Russ Harris. Russ Harris is one of the most popular figures in the world of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and this is the most popular book on the therapy. ACT posits that most of our suffering comes from active struggling and focusing on that which ails us. All of the time we spend trying to solve, figure out, or placate those uncomfortable things that we just wish would go away serves only to keep us locked into the eternal struggle. The more we focus on our difficulties, the bigger and bigger they get.

Let’s try an experiment, straight from the book.

I want you to not think about a purple elephant. I mean it, now. I want you, dear reader, to try as hard as you humanly can to not think about a purple elephant.

Well? Did it work?

I don’t want to belabor the point here, as I think it’s immediately obvious to anyone who does the exercise. It resonates, at least, with every client I’ve tried this with. The more we try to push something out, to force it away, the more it disobeys. This is particularly true in OCD (check out this article if you’d like to learn more about OCD). The more we try to push or compel an intrusive thought away, the more it pops up. The compulsions in OCD serve only to remind us of our obsessions. Every time we do a compulsion, we are essentially saying, “Do not think about that obsession. Do not think about that obsession.” And so, what happens? The obsession comes up more frequently after. We think about that obsession. In comes the rope. The rope is the compulsion. The rope is all of the things we do to try and make the obsession go away. We tug as hard as we can, but OCD pulls just as hard. We get stuck in a stalemate, exhausting ourselves, our eyes on nothing but OCD.

So, what then can we do? We can drop the rope. When we do, we’re free, and OCD falls flat on their face. When it stands up, it will do everything in our power to make us pick that rope back up. It will create new fears, new worries, new obsessions. It will whisper every “what if” it can think of into our ears. But we don’t have to pick up the rope. We can accept that we’re scared, that the intrusive thoughts curdle our blood. But we don’t have to pick up the rope. We don’t have to fight. When we do this, eventually the OCD gets bored, and our minds wander elsewhere. The most important thing I’ve learned as an OCD therapist is that freedom comes from letting go. 

Click here if you’d like to learn more about ACT, a highly effective therapy for OCD and Anxiety. For more information about how you may benefit from ACT and to schedule a free 20 minute consultation, please click the link here.