By Tim Weissman, Ph.D.
As a Psychologist, I am quite concerned about the mental health toll the pandemic has been taking on most of society. It is clear at this point that mental health, and by extension our physical health, has been significantly eroded by the continued daily restrictions on normal behavior and media-driven narratives of fear. Yes, Covid-19 is a real virus, which has infected millions worldwide, and caused a great deal of physical illness, heartache, and death. Yes, we should take reasonable precautions. However, our society must stop living in fear, and start living as normally as possible again. I believe it is critical for our overall health.
Living in constant fear is not healthy for our minds, and it is not healthy for our bodies. The old adage is true – face your fears to overcome them. As difficult as it may be, a truly effective way to reduce anxiety is to expose ourselves to what we fear. When we do this, the fear subsides and we feel more agency in our lives.
As a society, we are creating our own nightmare. We are letting our children down. We are letting our elderly down. And, we are letting ourselves down.
We are teaching children to be afraid of human contact and robbing them of childhood. We are leaving our elderly to die confused and alone. We are turning our eyes away from the mounting despair of millions, calling their livelihoods unessential, and ignoring the skyrocketing suicides and overdoses. We are sacrificing many other forms of physical health in a fear-laden pursuit of complete Covid-avoidance.
We need to stop. We can. We start by being clear-eyed about the costs we are inflicting on ourselves. It is not only Covid which can cause pain or destroy a life. Context is desperately needed to keep our perspective.
A generation of children developmentally stunted
Children need social engagement to develop. We are social creatures, and we learn about ourselves, and the world, in relation to others. Peers are particularly important because it is within these relationships that children learn how to navigate emotional conflicts, and ultimately, how to work and play well with others. The toll on children in large families, with many siblings, is likely not as severe, but how many large families exist today, as compared to 50+ years ago? The truth is that most families are smaller today, and it is imperative for children to interact with peers in person.
Children need to be back in school, living a much more normal life (not the proverbial “new normal”). Safety precautions are fine, but if policy-makers require face-coverings then teachers and children should only wear translucent masks or face shields so that their facial expressions are readable. Vast amounts of communication is non-verbal, and facial expressions reveal a great deal of information when communicating. This won’t be lost if see-through face-coverings are used.
Sports and social events need to start back up. Both types of activities offer incalculable benefits for development. Without in-person schooling or extracurricular activities, children will spin their developmental wheels.
I hear from some parents and teachers that they fear viral spread at school. Fear is a very powerful motivator. I am not dismissing this concern. The concern is real, and there is no doubt that some spread will occur. My best suggestion to parents or teachers struggling with this fear is to bring into your thinking some countering thoughts. Learn about the statistics more. Avoid fear-mongering media reports on anecdotes. Understand the difference between statistics and anecdotes and the logical fallacy of confusing them.
In any large number of people (like 330 million), we will be able to find heartbreaking stories and terrible examples. That does not mean it is common or likely. Imagine stories about shark attacks. They do happen. But, every year since the dawn of civilization, humans have enjoyed the beach, and will continue to enjoy the beach – even in the face of the exceedingly rare shark attack. We can’t let the proverbial Covid shark attack story prevent children from enjoying their childhoods.
Do what you would do with any fearful thinking. Treat it the same. Bring in more rationality, more context, and reduce catastrophizing. Remind yourselves of the countervailing cost to a generation of children and empower yourself to do what is best for our children.
Lost humanity in how we treat our elderly
This is the most difficult challenge in the pandemic, as the elderly are the ones at relatively significant risk. It’s heartbreaking to see the rates of dementia rising precipitously - likely resulting from loneliness and sparse human contact. Many nursing home residents have not had contact with their families for many months. It’s excruciatingly sad to think of a mother/father slowly wasting away in a nursing home without physical visits from loved ones.
One of the core features of our collective sense of humanity is that we make great efforts to be with loved ones as they die. It’s a common and fervent wish that most people have – to not die alone. And, yet, thousands are experiencing this fate because of public policies and fear. Not only is it unfair to them, but also to the families who will carry a heavy burden of guilt for the rest of their lives because they were not able to hold the hand of a dying family member.
This must stop. We can safely visit loved ones in nursing homes. It will require more sacrifice from family members to prepare for visits, but policies need to allow for multiple people to visit in-person regularly. And, the visits must be physical and up-close. Waving through a window to an elderly person struggling with dementia is confusing, disorienting and ultimately upsetting. Physical contact, hugs and hand-holding will do a great deal to restore their emotional and physical health. We must not lose our humanity in our response to fear.
Millions in despair over lost livelihoods
People and their ways of making a living are not unessential to our society. Everyone’s job is ultimately essential to them and their families. We need to stop letting fear of Covid determine who society deems as an essential worker. The emotional damage being wrought by these policies, and ways of perceiving our fellow citizens, is severe.
Deaths of despair have been rising during the pandemic. Suicides and drug overdoses have taken far too many lives. The rates of depression and anxiety have skyrocketed as mental health organizations are reporting record numbers of people seeking emotional assistance. And, the damage does not end with each suffering individual. Their pain extends out into their families and local communities, just like a virus can extend out from someone who is ill. The tentacles of despair reach out from spouse to spouse, from parents to children, from friends to co-workers – creating a pall over daily life for millions who have lost livelihoods.
We should not underestimate the all-encompassing effects of losing a livelihood. Work gives meaning to so many lives. It provides daily purpose and a sense of doing your part in the world. Losing this is on par with other major losses in life, and it is not healed quickly. Society’s tacit acceptance of these losses out of fear needs to stop.
If we recall the purpose of many employment restrictions back in March, it was to “flatten the curve,” not eradicate the virus. We needed to make certain that our health care system would not be overwhelmed. It worked. Health care was stretched, but it never broke. However, fear set in, and we shifted to a mentality of zero-tolerance for any spread. Millions of people can withstand weeks or a month of lost livelihoods, but not 6+ months. Zero spread is not realistic and the damage to people from lost livelihoods needs to end.
Again, I hear from people who are fearful that fully opening bars, restaurants, gyms, performance halls and other similar venues will lead to the spread of the virus. Yes, the truth is that there will be spread as a result. However, from a mental health perspective, I would encourage more rationality in considering this truth. Challenge the fearful thinking with more context. Consider the countervailing costs to the millions of people who are suffering every day that society restricts their livelihoods. Consider all the positive information on treatments/therapeutics which have been developed over the last 7 months – and the plummeting fatality rates. Consider how long society can live in fear without permanent consequences. Empower yourself to choose to face the fear and overcome.
Health is a bigger picture
Fear of Covid spread has become an end unto itself. It is almost as if all other health issues have dissolved into the background, and the only potential health problem in our collective minds is the virus. Restrictions on elective procedures and important screenings for extremely common ailments has left a veritable avalanche of approaching illnesses. The term “elective” doesn’t mean it’s a vanity procedure. It frequently means that the procedure is not an emergency, so it can be scheduled at a convenient time. That doesn’t mean it can be ignored for 6 months.
And it’s not just policy restrictions for why so-called elective procedures have been pushed off. Patients have avoided hospitals or doctor’s offices because of fear. They don’t address their actual ailments because of intensified fear of a potential illness. The result is quite likely to be health problems far more difficult to remedy at much greater cost.
Health care providers need to reach out to patients and encourage them to engage in their routine screenings and appointments. We also need to do a better job educating the public on comparative risks. We should not let 6 or more months go by without a recommended screening out of fear of a virus which the CDC has currently listed with a survival rate of 99.9998 for people under 50 years old (meaning out of 5000 people infected, 4999 live). We need to help clients and patients bring in the rationale mind so that our healthcare system is not overwhelmed with many other, very preventable, diseases.
Nothing to fear but fear itself
My hope is that you were able to read this with an open mind. I know so much of our society is politicized and polarized. It’s unfortunate that much information gets lost in the tug of war played out on social media and the news. I do not discount the very real challenges posed by Covid. It is a contagious respiratory virus, and it does present significant challenges to the elderly. Loss of a loved one or serious lingering illness as a result of Covid is heartbreaking and anyone who has experienced this rightly deserves sympathy and care. The intent in this article was to help paint more context for the numerous self-inflicted societal costs we are incurring, and to encourage people to approach their fearful thinking on Covid with more rationality.
As a society we can do better at balancing our policy decisions. Covid is one issue among so many related to societal and personal health. Further, mental health is not separate from physical health. They are joined and sync up quite closely. This is why mental health deteriorates in response to significant physical ailment and vice versa.
We need to get back to living normally. We do not have to stay on the path we have chosen. If fear of Covid is overwhelming for someone, I encourage seeking some assistance on strategies to reduce that anxiety. Being clear-eyed and taking reasonable precautions makes sense. But, behaving out of significant feelings of fear is not helpful for us personally, and it is contributing to significant societal damage to millions of people in the country. We can choose a better and HEALTHIER path.
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